Things happen in life. Plans are derailed, people we love pass away or move on, companies downsize.
How do you cope with these things and not let them get you down?
If you are like me, you may not have coped with some of these things well, at all, at times. At other times, you may have thought you coped well, only to find out–facepalm–not so much!
I lost my husband to cancer 11 years ago. At the same time, I lost my career due to unrelated circumstances, and I reluctantly chose to move back home, after some lame attempts to salvage the life I had built up some 150 miles away from the rest of my family of origin.
Sometimes All We Can Do Is Coast–For a While Anyway
I had been working as a freelance writer, homeschooling my kids–well, formally, only my daughter, she was 7 and my son was 5. Unusual circumstances led me to lose my two biggest customers for my fledgling writing writing business at the same time as my husband’s death.
If you have ever experienced mind-numbing grief and ever stared at a blank page trying to figure out what to write, you know it would have been tough enough to keep going, even if my customers had not pulled out just then. Trying to find new writing markets, if you have tried that, well, you see where this is going.
I spent a good year as a automaton, working at a job, but feeling like an empty shell.
Slowly a plan began to form, one that seemed so utterly rational, it had to work. It would be more lucrative than writing and eventually lead to me being able to write whatever I wanted–as soon as I retired.
It was not until recently that I saw the true nature of the error in my “rational” approach. It took a lot of soul searching, re-evaluating, and re-assessing of my entire life up until now, actually. Yes, I had help along the way. I have made a lot of new friends, engaged in extensive personal grief and family counseling.
Real friends call you out on your stuff. They are like good coaches, that way.
My life up until now has prepared me for what I am doing today, writing this blog for you. I have delved into the depths of darkness and seen that it was in my own soul. I shined a light on it, embraced it, owned it, and I have found a new resilience and a passion for living that I could never have imagined in the depths of my grief, or the years of struggle that have transpired between then and now.
You see, I choose to no longer view my life as a struggle. And you can choose the same.
This article inspired me to write for you today: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/study-fight-performance-anxiety-by-getting-excited/282886/
And this book has helped me immensely: http://www.amazon.com/Second-Firsts-Live-Laugh-Again-ebook/dp/B00F8KX5AO/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389202113&sr=1-1&keywords=second+firsts
There are many other people and resources that have helped me reach this point. It is not about not having challenges, it is about feeling powerful enough to take them on, and knowing the joy of overcoming them, and tackling whatever comes next. It is about remembering, you are here for a reason, there is only one of you, and you do not know how much time you have.
Does this post speak to you? Then please, by all means, reply below! I would love to hear from you!